I am sure some of you have heard the old saying ” you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs”?
Well that is me presently sitting here very nervous, as I start typing, not sure where to start, what to post, delete, or edit towards getting my blog moving full steam again. When I had logged in I went straight to my stats and the numbers my page continues to hit daily, is SHOCKING and HUMBLING. I should be seeing ZERO’S!! I never meant to be gone for this long or neglect my blog like this, but when I realized my passion to cook was gone, my desire to do pretty much anything else had followed. How can I talk about food when I don’t want to open my eyes and face another day because each day I was too DEPRESSED to function.
I tumbled down that dark scary road of depression from a broken relationship, and sadly I let it affected everything i enjoyed and everyone around me that I loved.
Cooking is the one thing that has always come natural to me. There is nothing i ever learned about food or cooking that was ever difficult. Food and cooking comforted me as a child and as an adult, cooking was a stress reliever for many years and then one day I did not want to eat or cook. Often I felt no creativity and I didn’t care to make anything I made taste out of this world F-ing good!
It’s said a persons overall mood while cooking really does affect how a dish will taste to others. If you are sad, down or depressed, its crazy but those emotions do come out in your food. Regretfully I stopped caring and you could taste it. My substandard cooking did not faze me until my son very gingerly expressed how far down the totem pole I and my cooking went.
Mom, do you not care anymore.
That was when I realized how disconnected I was from my family and friends, man its hard to admit that I let depression take over my life and I knew I cant continue in such a depressed mess. Something needed to give and that something was what I didn’t want to accept.
That it was truly over.
I was the give that needed to let go, to let him go… and I did, and this heaviness I felt inside for so long is gone too. So now this is my time for me to heal and move on because that is what we do in life. We live and we love, and should a love be extra special, then we remember it with a smile…
I don’t want to promise when I’ll post again and not follow through, so ill just say
Goodnight and I’ll see you all soon.